officialunitedstates:

been carrying around this sack of bees ever since my grandmother told me beauty is in the eye of the bee holder.  to be honest sometimes I wish she had never told me this information

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ebunnies:

I was thinkin about the guy with two penises and I was like woah imagine two boobs then I was like wait

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caffeine-fiend:

mattypwhatwhat:

I don’t under stand racism

because people are like eggs

some have light shells and some have dark shells

but there’s no point differentiating them

because they all taste the same once you crack them open and empty their guts on the frying pan

Wait until the vegans find this.

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missvoltairine:

do you ever just get a vibe that someone has a crush on you and then you’re not sure if they actually do or if you’re just really really self-absorbed

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The road so far…

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I want someone to love me like potatoes

buttsandbarbells:

When I’m pale and fluffy:

image

When I’m tan and shredded:

image

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